Here's What People Are Saying About
Breaking Free from Boomerang Love:
Getting Unhooked from Abusive Borderline Relationships
I have read five books on BPD and have made the announcement
to friends that your book is the sixth and final. I am ending my
quest to understand this heinous condition with your book. For
me, your book is the best closure. It’s time for me to move on
after four years of mourning the loss of him and the marriage.
Thanks so much for the book. You rock.
I have been pushing your book !! It’s awesome. I am halfway
through and lived every page with you, along with many others.
Thanks for sharing with all of us your pain and confusion. If I
had to choose one word to describe my life with my BPD, it would
be “confused”. I was constantly confused.
What you said (in Boomerang Love) struck a chord with me. No
one understands how hurt and upset I am. Yes, I have to walk
away. But walking away from something you love is so very hard.
You are forced to internalize. Your book has shown me that I can
do it ! And even more so, I will !! Thank you.
It was amazing to read your book. I sat there with a
highlight pen, highlighting the statements in your book that I
had said to my partner – never knowing that others were saying
the same thing ! I am love, I give every ounce of myself. I am a
magnet for these people – but never will I be again !!
Thank you for putting into words exactly what was going on in
my relationship. Of all the books I’ve read on BPD, yours was
the most informative. It gave me the strength to move on. (I’m
eight months removed from a ten-year nightmare.)
As I read your book, I felt as though I was reading a journal
of my chaotic marriage with my borderline wife, except I was
reading your words. Your book belongs in the office of every
therapist, as it provides a rare insight into the life of a
person in the difficult position of recovering from the abuse
sustained in a borderline relationship.
Though my relationship was long ago, the devastation left
following the storm had left me numb to life for quite a number
of years. Reading your book and then knowing that there was an
actual “name to my pain” (borderline personality disorder) was
like salve to my wounds, the healing element that had been
missing all these years. At last I knew the “why’s”. Going back
and re-living my pain, this time with “new eyes” that understood
BPD, released those many years of pent-up pain.
Boomerang Love has really helped me a lot. I no longer feel
that the problems are my fault and now realize that by my trying
too hard to keep everything going, I actually fed my BPD’s
problem. I no longer will accept her badgering or abuse directed
I just finished reading Boomerang Love and although it’s hard
to hear so much about myself, it has helped me to finally
connect with the Land of Oz online support group and begin the
journey – albeit feeling pain I never knew I had or could. Yes,
I am raw, lonely and still confused – but I’m beginning. Yes,
depressed and taken to many private crying episodes. You and
your revelations have changed my life . . . and I just wanted to
get to heaven fast prior to this moment. With gratitude.
Thanks, Lynn. I purchased your book, Boomerang Love, to help
me maintain my path away from my ex-Borderline girlfriend. It
was brilliant, and I found many of the areas covered very
meaningful. I related to a hell of a lot. Some of the sketches
at the back were also appropriate to what I had experienced. It
certainly put a smile on my face as some of my feelings and
experiences jumped from the pages. Highly recommended.
This book has been a life-saver for me. After a ten-year
relationship with a classic narcissist (BPD, which I didn’t know
existed at the time), I now know that it was not my fault after
all the rages, the blaming, etc. I have been told that it was me
for so long – some little thing I said or failed to do, etc. It
is great to know that other people have been brought through
this. Lynn seemed to have lived with my boyfriend also ! She hit
the nail on the head with SUCH kindness and love in her writing.
If you are confused and suffering in a relationship, get this
book. It has definitely helped me to get free. You will no
longer feel alone !
Thanks, Lynn, for the heartfelt thoughts on this confusing
malady ! We do indeed take our baggage from childhood with us,
whether we’re conscious of it or not. When you’re ready to break
free, this book is so very helpful with just the right mix of
encouraging humor, empathy and clarity.
Unless you have ever had any loved ones with BPD or are
dealing with the long healing journey of BPD yourself, you
cannot begin to totally understand the relief felt while reading
this book. An excellent read with lots of BPD insight. If
involved in a relationship where BPD is involved in any manner,
you must read this book !
After two months of marriage, my new husband was unofficially
diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I hung on for 16
more months and have the emotional scars to prove it. No one
understands like someone who has been through it. As I read this
book, I cried and cried. Ultimately, when I finished it, I felt
so much better. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who
has felt the pain of loving someone with BPD.
I was in a Borderline relationship for two years. I have now
left and wanted to express (in my poem below) how much this book had helped
me in the healing process that follows. I strongly recommend it
to anyone struggling with how to find themselves again. Lots of
advice regarding coping skills which are much needed. It has
been my constant companion during the last months and gives me
great comfort when I need it most.
Tears fall like rain
I can’t see you again
The wounds are too deep
and I’m lacking in sleep.
From the emotional quicksand, as I gouge my way free –
It’s so hard to remember there was ever a me.
But then I surrender to a less scary place
Where someone gently touches my face.
Is it I am still dreaming?
No, it’s something sent from an angel above.
It’s my perfectly packaged passport to freedom –
and its title is Boomerang Love.
The most striking part of this book is that it clears the
mistaken notion that is prevalent in being involved with a
personality disordered relationship that the underlying problem
is you. Borderlines make a person feel so loved, so secure,
etc., in the beginning (high value stage) and then a free-fall
into insanity when the Borderline completely changes for no
apparent reason and you find yourself emotionally flat on your
back, wondering what in the hell happened (devaluation stage).
This book helps to see that the only reasonable course of action
is to get out of the relationship. Borderlines rarely get
better. Suffering can be defined as trying to change the
unchangeable. Get out, get out, get out and go on with your
life. A great book.
This is a unique book in that it presents how to become
disentangled from a relationship with someone who has Borderline
Personality Disorder. Most books are aimed at the person with
BPD and not the people on the receiving end of the dysfunctional
behavior. The basic premise of the book is that someone
suffering from BPD is going to keep your life on a roller
coaster and that you can’t reasonably expect quick results or
magical solutions. It puts the burden back on the person in the
relationship to determine why they are in it and why they allow
themselves to keep being treated poorly in the face of little
change or no change. The parts that were particularly poignant
involved articulating the pain of someone who is in love with
someone with this disorder. It really paints a clear picture of
what it feels like. The solutions presented are straightforward
and practical. The premise is that the loved one of someone with
BPD has to look at their own codependent behavior around trying
to rescue someone who requires intensive psychotherapy and/or
medication. It’s a reality that BPD is difficult to treat under
the best of circumstances and it is just plain unrealistic to
expect a loved one with this problem to suddenly get better by
themselves or with short-term therapy. If you’re in a
relationship with someone with Borderline disorder, this book
could be your life preserver.
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