J. Kent Griffiths, DSW, in his work Character Disorder, says, "We all have several of these traits on a bad day, but if you see a preponderance of these attributes in yourself or the person you're worried about, it may indicate what is called a personality disorder. We should work on overcoming these attributes and avoid people who possess many of them."

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BEHAVIORS THAT MAY INDICATE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER

(For ease of use, the generic masculine pronoun has been used.
Please recognize that the below behaviors apply to both male and female.)

• Low stress tolerance with explosive behavior.

• Moody – switches from nice guy/gal to anger without much provocation.

• Survive on threats and intimidation to keep others chained to them.

• They do not take responsibility for their behavior.

• They have to be right. They have to win. They have to look good.

• Very slow to forgive others. They hang on to resentment.

• Unable to sustain a totally faithful relationship with love partner.

• Tendency to project their own shortcomings onto the world about them – frequent blaming. Never at fault.

• Ready rationalization – rarely at a loss for words – twists conversation to divorce themselves from responsibility.

• Glimpses of integrity and emotion are seen – but short-lived. They give you hope that they are changing, but return soon to deviant behavior.

• In a trust relationship, inevitably betray and violate their commitments and get blocked emotionally when they get too close to those they say they love.

• They have no concept of open sharing of ideas, feelings, emotions. Conversation goes per their direction. They have the last word always.

• Can show tenderness of feeling, then return to customary behaviors. Two (or more) vastly different sides to their personality are seen.

• They never seem to get enough of what they want. They leave others feeling drained and confused.

• Highly contradictory. He loves me, he hates me. They threaten their partner with poverty, then indulge their partner or the relationship.

• You end up feeling responsible for the problem. They get to your feelings. No matter what -- they win, you lose.

• Attitude of “I’ll meet your needs if you meet mine. If you don’t, I’ll find someone else who will or I will not meet yours.”

• They are so skilled at making a mountain out of a molehill, and you become so tired of the conflict. It drains all of your energy, love and hope.